Daily Text Message:

May mag-asawang nag-away. Hindi sila nag-uusap dahil nagpapataasan ng pride. Ang unang magsalita, talo!

Yung lalaki, kailangang gumising ng maaga kasi may flight sya papuntang US. Ayaw nya kausapin ang asawa niya dahil matatlo sya kaya nagsulat siya sa isang kapirasong papel: "pakigising ako ng ala-singko ng umaga."

Kinabukasan, nagising ang lalaki ng alas-otso ng umaga. Galit na galit siya na kakausapin na sana niya ang asawa nang may napansin siyang isang sulat sa tabi ng kama, "GISING NA, ALA-SINGKO NA, BAKA MA-LATE KA SA FLIGHT MO!"

..EVERYBODY LIES..

Mrs. Vallecer comes to visit her son Patrick for diner who lives with a female roommate named Ives.

His mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Ives is. She had long been suspiscious of a relationship between the two.

Reading his mo's thoughts, he said: "I knew what you're thinking, but I assure you, we're just roommates."

A week later, Ives: "Ever since your mom came, I can't find the sugar bowl, you don't suppose she took it, do you?"

"Ma, I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house and I'm not saying that you 'did not' take it. But the fact that it's been missing ever since you were here. Love, Patrick."

A week later:

"Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Ives, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now. Love, mama."

..Dumb Yet Profound Questions..

• Why are wrong numbers never busy?

• How come night falls but day breaks?

• Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

• If you try to fail and you succeeded, which have you done?

• Why is the time of the day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

• Is there any other word for synonym?

• If God sneezed, what would you say?

• If a word in the dictionary is spelled wrong, how would you know?

THE ARAB SHEIKH & THE ILOCANO BLOOD DONOR

An Arab Sheikh was admitted to the Philippine Heart Center in Manila for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case a need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out to a number of provinces.

Finally an Ilocano was located who had a similar type of blood. The Ilocano willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Ilocano as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, jewelry, and a million US dollars.

Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Ilocano who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Ilocano a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets.

The Ilocano was shocked that the Arab this time did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him: 'I thought that you would be generous again, that you would again give me a Toyota Prado, Money, Diamonds and Jewelry...but you only gave me a thank you card and a jar of Almond sweets!'

To this the Arab replied: 'Manong...I now have Ilocano blood in my veins.'